Moving On

I promised you I'd move on; we both promised that, should one of us die in this war, the other would continue living. That's the only reason I go on now. Before I came here, I'd had now clue how you had died. Then...I saw your body.

I broke down when I did. I couldn't take it; I couldn't stand seeing you lifeless when you used to be so full of life...so enthusiastic. It scared them, you know. They had never seen me cry before. You were the only one who had.

Optimus has made me the second-in-command now. It doesn't feel right being the one to take over your position. It hurts; it makes me realize that I can't deny what your fate was. I can't deny that I wasn't here for you when you needed me the most, either.

Ratchet has ordered me to take time off. Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Bluestreak are here pretty often, trying to cheer me up; they miss you, too, you know. Everyone does. No one wanted it to be true, and no one really wants to believe that it is, but even I can't deny it. We can't change anything, no matter how hard we try to.

I'm continuing to go on for you, because I know you would want me to. I don't know how long I can before I break completely, but I'll do my best. For you, and for them.

I can't bring myself to find another, though; you were the only one I ever loved, and I don't know if I'll ever find anyone else I love as much as I did you.

I'm sorry, my love...my Jazz.